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Just tellin it like it is.
15 most recent entries

Date:2005-12-14 14:19
Subject:Baby makin' time!
Security:Public

That's cause we both get the day off for the 2nd IUI. This morning, on CD17, I got a + on the OPK. I was soooooo excited when I saw the monitor this morning and knew that I would not be going to work on Thursday! Thank you higher power. I am a bit frustrated today at Medicaid and billing and such. They make it hard for a social worker to get her work done with as little stress as possible. GRRRRR!!!!!T talked to her mom last night about x-mas. We were hoping on a drama free x-mas, but when family is involved, that's next to impossible. At least we'll get to see T's mom and she is so fun to hang out with. A little draining, but she is so good to us and is so happy about the possibility of being a granny. Not so much looking forward to the 2WW over x-mas though. That's gonna be a tough one.

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Date:2005-12-07 16:03
Subject:Oh green tea, why are you so delicious?
Security:Public
Mood: hungry

As I sit here and sip on my second mug of green tea of the day, I wondered why the hell have I not been drinking this before? I like my decaf coffee, but the change to tea has been very enjoyable. It's good shit.
It is snowing like a bastard outside right now. I am so very grateful that I don't have to commute to work anymore. That was the 1st thing I thought when I got into my freezing car this morning. At least T got off of work at 2 today so I don't have to worry about her getting home during rush hour traffic.
I've been tracking the ovulation on the monitor and all is low thus far. I don't expect it to move for a couple of days at least. This month's peeing on sticks have been much more stress free. I've got the monitor figured out and have been through the process once so I know what I'm facing at least. It's hard to believe it has almost been a month since our 1st IUI and already time for the second!

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Date:2005-12-02 14:08
Subject:Oh for the love....
Security:Public
Mood: refreshed

Yesterday I was in such a weird space. In the morning I was super grouchy and snapped at T. As I started into my work day, I noticed I was really agitated and couldn't put my finger on why. Now, I shouldn't have been too surprised by this being that ol' Aunt Flo is still hanging around, but the energy was just different.
Then I checked my email yesterday and realized that the world was off yesterday. I got an email from my mom requesting to meet with me to explain "our" position because she's afraid that I don't understand it and think that I'm not loved. Now, my understanding of disowning someone and making sure that your own daughter doesn't know about her sister's wedding is the exact opposite of anything that can even closely be understood as love. So needless to say, I did not jump at the opportunity to let my mother feel better about herself or the guilt she feels for being such a shitty mom by meeting with her and having her put her spin on something that cannot be spun. She suffers from the classic "I hate you, don't leave me" syndrome thus making her routine to say really awful things, as she did last month, and inevitably follows with a pity party for herself.

Since T and I have begun our journey trying to be parents, I have had so much more clarity on how I feel about my family ditching me when I came out. It also has allowed me to be able to feel stronger about telling them to shove it and just leave us alone if they can't get on board with who I am. I refuse to let our kids or even our journey to having our kids be apart of any of their madness.
Today is going much better though. After a BIF free start to my day, I am looking forward to going out tonight with my wife and my friend Debbie. I also got a hair cut and really really like it. A hair cut was way overdue being that I was still tryin to work with the same damn hairstyle that I've had for a minute. I heart payday and Friday!

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Date:2005-11-28 16:10
Subject:Well....
Security:Public
Mood: calm

I took a pregnancy test this morning and it was negative. I wasn't too surprised because I kinda started yesterday and put two and two together. So, I called the Dr. b/c I was supposed to let them know the results of the test either way and to see if they got my lab work (progesterone level) from last week. So if I don't have to be on meds, we'll try again in Dec. If I have to be on Clomid, I'm not sure how long I'll have to take that before trying again. I'm still waiting for the Dr.'s office to call me back. I called them at like 10:30, and they usually get right back so I don't know what the deal is with that. The wedding on Sat. was fun. Terri got to meet some serious blasts from my past that I never thought she would have the opportunity to meet. Including the brother of my sister's ex-boyfriend (take a second to figure that out) who I also went to a dance with in high school when I was like 15. Come to find out, he's kinda gay. It had not occurred to me until I talked to him on Sat., but there were some definite tendencies there. Terri's gaydar is more fine-tuned than mine so of course she pointed that out like, "Duh!!!!!" Who knew? It was also good to eat some Croatian food, which not until smelling it, did I realize how much I missed it.

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Date:2005-11-22 21:10
Subject:Brown Jesus
Security:Public

Man, I have been meaning to post all day and all weekend and finally have a moment to do so. It was a fun gay weekend. That conference on gay parenting was good for the most part. One of my most favorite parts of the thing was when someone asked a panel member about religion and their kids. After the woman who asked this question heard what church a panel member belongs to, she exclaimed, "Oh they're really diverse. They even have a brown Jesus!" Cause apparently, that makes anything culturally competent. Are you fucking kidding me lady? My jaw almost dropped when she said that. Terri wanted to ask her if she's ever been to a black person's home, a black church, or even watched an episode of Good Times, where a "brown Jesus" wouldn't be such groundbreaking shit! Whoa.

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Date:2005-11-18 08:15
Subject:What in the solicitors is going on?
Security:Public
Mood: peaceful

Last night as we were anxiously awaiting our pizza, I answered the door hoping it way the delivery person from Godfather's. No such luck. Some middle aged white guy tried to hand me a card and said, "Hi I'm so and so from some Baptist church".
Nuff said.
I don't think so.
I quickly said no thanks while T was in the background and I believe said hell no. We get lots o' church solicitors where we live for some reason. (Well it is Kansas) Usually I don't answer the door, but since I had pizza on the way, I couldn't risk the possibility of not answering the door for fear of my pizza leaving.
Maybe they can sense the gayness and are trying to save us from eternal damnation?

                       

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Date:2005-11-11 12:10
Subject:Happy Veteran's Day!
Security:Public
Mood: giddy

And happy three day weekend to me and my Vet. I am so happy to have the day off and to spend it just doing what we want! I'm getting ready to do some shopping and just chill. Maybe bake something, maybe not. Either way, I don't have to work today.
So today the monitor still shows high fertility, which is good, but it's not ovulation. Hopefully that will be this weekend. I'm so grateful for that expensive ass monitor which relieves me from holding my pee for four hours at a time, keeps me from having to pee on a stick, and shows me some progress in my ovulation status! So, thanks to my vet for buying it for us!

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Date:2005-11-08 15:00
Subject:This is hilarious.
Security:Public
Mood: calm

 

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Date:2005-11-07 17:13
Subject:Almost done
Security:Public
Mood: good

My Monday is almost done and I'm glad. My new fridge is in my office stocked full of Diet Sprite and string cheese. I'm so very happy about that. I have a three hour meeting every Monday that is very difficult to sit through. Luckily, it's a four day work week for me, so that is making everything else go by less painfully. I get to leave an hour early tomorrow to head into KC for my board meeting. I have orientation at the jail tonight. I'm going to be teaching a class there in the women's pod with my friend Stacey. It's just a couple of nights a week and is using a model that I spent a week in lovely Wichita, KS learning. So it will be good experience. 

If all goes well this week, I will be ovulating on Friday or Sat and hopefully will get to try to make a baby!!

Peace! I'm out!

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Date:2005-11-04 18:44
Subject:TGIF
Security:Public
Mood: bored

Do I hate when people say TGIF? Yes. Am I happy that it's Friday and a payday? YESSSSS! I am so looking forward to the weekend. It's pretty busy though. Tonight we're going to Sidekicks in KC for a drag show fundraiser for KCAVP. Tomorrow T's mom is coming to our house for a hair braiding party. Should be pretty fun and interesting. I am so lucky to have such a great mother-in-law. I heart her and she hearts me and she is quite entertaining. So we'll have good food and company tomorrow during the day. Then tomorrow night we head back to KCK (big ups to the dotte, my hometown) to hang out with T's bff Sheila and her husband William. Then Sunday is more gay action with a meeting for the KS Coalition for LGBT Equal rights.
In other unrelated news, I want to go to get a mini-fridge for my office. Most everyone here with an office has one, so now I must conform. I actually would like to put my pop, lunch and snacks in there and keep it in my office. I've had a few things disappear from the client fridge, so this is a better alternative. How lazy though! Man, have I mentioned that I hate working late on Friday night? BOOOOOOOO. Well, TGIF. :)

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Date:2005-10-25 11:13
Subject:"All I was trying to do was get home from work"
Security:Public
Mood: content

The voice of one of my favorite all time quotes, a strong woman, leader of the civil rights movement, and the title of my favorite Outkast song has passed. Poor some out for the woman who was just tryin to get home for work and started a revolution. RIP Rosa Parks.

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Date:2005-10-22 16:53
Subject:Adulthood
Security:Public
Mood: accomplished

Sometimes it sucks being an adult, but sometimes it's okay. Today we bought a new coffee table and matching end tables. I am so freakin' excited about that. Had you told me five years ago that I would be this excited about getting something for my home and not specifically for me, I would have said you were lyin. It makes our place look so much better! Our old coffee table and end table was donated from my punk ass older sister. It's so nice to be able to buy stuff brand spankin new that I picked out. (and even nicer to get rid of shit from people who won't give you the time of day) I am truly grateful to be able to have what I have, but its always nice to get something new!

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Date:2005-10-21 15:20
Subject:Yeaaaaaaaaah!!!
Security:Public
Mood: happy

Today is a good day. I finally got a Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor. Boring for those of you reading this? Yes. But for me it's very exciting. For me it means that when I'm trying to track my ovulation, I don't have to hold my pee for four hours to take a damn test and I don't have to test at work. I was able to get one off of ebay and the sticks that come with it for over $100 bucks cheaper than if I bought it at the store and it's brand new. In other non-related good news, the Dizz is home and recovering nicely. They gave him a shot yesterday with pain meds for 3 days. (LUCKY!) So he's been pretty much snoozing. I slept on the couch last night with him to make sure he was doing okay and he was being damn cute and snuggly. Hooray for Fridays and paydays!

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Date:2005-10-20 15:03
Subject:The dizz
Security:Public
Mood: sad

Karldizzle comes home today after a short stay at the vet's. I cried like a baby when I dropped him off yesterday. We had to get him declawed. He's been very destructive lately and with babies on the way soon, it just had to be done. I felt (and still do) so horrible about having to do that because Terri and I said that we wouldn't declaw our cats. I kind of view living with them as simply sharing space. I don't like that whole "you're the animal and I'm the master" bullshit mentality. So since that's pretty much what I did when I dropped him off yesterday, I feel like a piece of shit. I can't wait to get home today and see him and love on him!!!!!!

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Date:2005-04-22 20:54
Subject:
Security:Public

This is my first journal. Kinda boring. I'm looking for my friend Jen. Happy Earth Day!

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