Bridget (bridgetdizzle) wrote,

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Oh for the love....

Yesterday I was in such a weird space. In the morning I was super grouchy and snapped at T. As I started into my work day, I noticed I was really agitated and couldn't put my finger on why. Now, I shouldn't have been too surprised by this being that ol' Aunt Flo is still hanging around, but the energy was just different.
Then I checked my email yesterday and realized that the world was off yesterday. I got an email from my mom requesting to meet with me to explain "our" position because she's afraid that I don't understand it and think that I'm not loved. Now, my understanding of disowning someone and making sure that your own daughter doesn't know about her sister's wedding is the exact opposite of anything that can even closely be understood as love. So needless to say, I did not jump at the opportunity to let my mother feel better about herself or the guilt she feels for being such a shitty mom by meeting with her and having her put her spin on something that cannot be spun. She suffers from the classic "I hate you, don't leave me" syndrome thus making her routine to say really awful things, as she did last month, and inevitably follows with a pity party for herself.

Since T and I have begun our journey trying to be parents, I have had so much more clarity on how I feel about my family ditching me when I came out. It also has allowed me to be able to feel stronger about telling them to shove it and just leave us alone if they can't get on board with who I am. I refuse to let our kids or even our journey to having our kids be apart of any of their madness.
Today is going much better though. After a BIF free start to my day, I am looking forward to going out tonight with my wife and my friend Debbie. I also got a hair cut and really really like it. A hair cut was way overdue being that I was still tryin to work with the same damn hairstyle that I've had for a minute. I heart payday and Friday!
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